|
| | haven't updated this in like the longest time. but ehh...i have no gossip or nothing to say but i od'ed and life sucks. hehehe...i'm being so 'emo' as someone would put it. i'm over at someone's house and they're jamming. ahaha...jam. someone likes that word just as much as me. hehehe. i'm feeling weird though. they're playing emo songs. hehehe. it's so funny but i'm only here for a couple of reasons. eh...well...i'm trying to get tickets for coachella. i haven't seen the person i'm supposed to get them from for a really long while. i wonder where they are. i think they're in las vegas. i'm not sure. eh...i'll call them a lot later. someone keeps playing around with the mouse so it's gonna take me a while to finish this update. they like to torture me. they also like poking me a lot. and really. hard. yeah...they keep making me type other places. like up there^^^^. it's getting annoying. and i can't stare at them cause then they'll click on the screen when i'm not looking. you're so mean. DAMN YOU!!! you're so mean. hehehe. yeah...i think i'm gonna go now cause this is gonna take a while. cause someone is being a meanie. heheh. nah...jk. |
| | |
|
|
i'm sick and tired of all this bullshit about how being gay is wrong. first of all, why is it anyone's business? if you would just mind your own business, we wouldn't have this arguement going on. and second...how the hell is it wrong? the fact that people are gay should not be considered a 'sin.' there are other things people should worry about, so why worry about other people's business. i know for a fact that this generation and future generations will accept people who are gay. my generation of teens are very understanding. very mature. i have a few friends who are still in high school and who are gay. does this make any of us uncomfortable. NO!! hell no. why would it. in a few years...let's say ten years...being gay will be just as normal as being straight. and a few years after that, it will be more common. so...why worry about things that don't have to do with you. if it bugs you so much...why don't you just stay away from the people who are? if you think it's wrong and you're not married...perhaps...you're really scared that you might be gay. maybe you just shouldn't care. people are born the way they're born. hm...let's see. if a kid is born sick...do we degrade them...no...but we do care for them more. if a kid is unique because they were born different and that is thought to be amazing...why is being gay wrong. how is it gonna do harm? who is it gonna kill? i know it won't kill me. fuck...i think gay guys are really nice. here's a thing about me...i'm in love with gay guys. i just love them. they're some of the nicest and even hottest guys out there. you will never find a friend like them. all you people who believe that being gay is wrong...well...you know what...just screw you. why should you even get involved in the business of others. and even worse...you're getting involved in the business of people who don't even know, of people you haven't even met. i just don't get how some people think. some people just deserve to die for believing this is wrong. it's none of your business. you are all just scared that you might be overpowered, outnumbered, and that you might be. so...fuck all of you. fuck all of you who believe it's wrong. it's not. who the hell cares what the bible says. it's a really huge book that was written by PEOPLE. not god. it was written by people who thought they knew the way 'god' thought. and...me...for one...am not very religious. not at all religious. i am catholic...but i do not like religion. it just confines people to be someone they are not. this whole lent thing....ha...don't do that. i don't believe in all that. it's like if i were to believe in superstitions. do you really think breaking a mirror is gonna give you bad luck. yeah...my ass. if you break it cause you're so ugly...than maybe. c'mon...some people are just stupid. and many people need to learn to accept diversity. that's what makes the world a unique place. it's what makes everyone for who they are. go ahead and hate people who are gay. i'm not stopping you, but don't do something stupid enough like support stupid bush. ever since bush became president...i've hated the way this country has had problems. all bush does is bring controversy to this country. 'all men are created.' where exactly do you see 'all straight men are created equal'? where does it say that. and...this country...the land of the free? yeah...my ass. since when. making gay marriages illegal would just bring this country down. it will bring more shame. gay people will be common in a few years. you can just trust me. they will be common. this world is very messed up. and this country is getting even more messed up by the minute. i think bush should be impeached. all he can do is ruin this country. bush should die in my opinion. the bush family gives america a bad name. a very bad name. fuck all of you who think being gay is a 'sin.' because i know most of you have created an even greater sin than that. | | | |
|
|
OMG...I CAN'T STOP SMILING!!!!!!!!! I HAVEN'T SMILED SO MUCH SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR!!!! | | | |
|
|
I wish I could say I love you
I have no love to spare
Love and me are opposites
It's the one thing i can't bear
Seems the only way to solve things
Is to end this crimson life
The love I receive, unwanted
The love I want, died
People say they love me
But all they do is complain
Complain that I'm not real
They don't feel my pain
You expect me to be happy
But all you do is lie
You don't really love me
And all i do is cry
I can't seem to find myself
My feeling are mixed up
You're running out of time
I'm already giving up
If you really love me
Try to understand
I can't say I love you
But will you at least hold my hand? | | | |
|
|
Human Jewelry
I've made an anklet
Engraved in my skin
The red slashes
Form red ruby dots of blood
The veins of blue
Add sapphires to this
Piece of human jewelry
Perhaps next I shall
Make a matching
Bracelet or two |
|
there is nothing more addictive
than a wound self-inflicted
Beautiful Girl
Nobody wants
To dance with the beautiful girl
Nobody thinks
That she is really beautiful-
She runs her tongue across her
painted lips
Touches her hair, and
Smiles from her safe place
Nobody sees
The thoughts of the beautiful girl
Nobody knows
The place where she is hiding
She doesn't seem to notice as they
All stand back
Her dress slips off her shoulder
She's dancing on the
Dance floor all alone
Nobody likes
The scars on the beautiful girl
Nobody wants
To see the pain that clearly
She lets them show like patchwork
Foreign patterns on her body
They make a startling contrast
With her sharp stilletto heels
Nobody dares
Get close to the beautiful girl
|
|
Scars
Scars
express the hardships
she had to endure
Outside
she is healed
Inside
she still bleeds
Longing
for someone to bandage her
|
|
I lie here in my bed wishing I was dead. Every breath I have to take is a harder one to make. I wonder how long it will be before I give up completly. I think of running, I think of pills, I think of knives and the thrills. I want it over, I'm ready now. I'm going to go, but when and how |
|
Blood-painted walls
stained with lies,
it drips with my pain
and leaks with my pride.
Cut past the skin
and reveal what's inside,
then stitch back the past
and prepare for more.
Resist the temptation,
shed my tears;
Hide the scars of hatred
and pretend to smile again. |
|
The cuts
lead to scars
scars tell stories
which no one
understands
no one
but
me
|
|
life is shit
chocolate is evil
knives do no good
crying myself blind
thats what i tell myself but I can't stop
|
|
my friends think im suicidal
they don't get it
i don't want to kill my self
i just want to feel... free
when i cut I can forget
all my problems
and just concentrate
on the pain
for that second
I am free
|
|
we are what we fear most. the darkness
calls our name, rings
it piercingly in and out through troubled
minds, and it turns out
to be none other than our own coneiving
imaginations. our darkest
nightmares wake us into our routine hell
of endless toils and pains, and
to the realizations that the nightmare itself
is completely uncomparable to
ourselves. to murder the demons that ravage
our bodies, is to fight the
battle and mercilessly kill our own desperate
souls. to murder them is
also to awaken in an endless epiphany of
darkness, where no fear, and no
pain, and no hate is to evade the deepest
depths of our self-images.
it is to be the most tortureless vacuum
in all of space. it is to
finally see mercy in comparison to the
tattered memories and the scarred
veins of our oppressed dreams. and thus,
we are our worst enemies. for no one
else could as ultimately nor as successfully end
that which our vehement procreators
have cursed us with. we are the only ones that can
commit one of the greatest sins in most
all of this earth's numerous
religions - self-destruction..
someday i will be vacant in my worldly universe of rituals.
never again will i do the torturous tasks i
carry out each day with the sacrifice
of my blood, sweat, and tears. i ponder whether that
will be a day of vacant pain and forgotten
memories, or a begining of eternal bliss.
will i live on vividly in the minds of others and
appear lolling on their tongues as
they occasionally think to speak my name?
or will i plunge into the darkest and deepest
depths of complete and utter
forgotteness like a stranger's face seen
only once on a busy street corner. i sometimes fear
that even my dog will forget me.. | | | |
|
|
